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PostPosted: Mon May 02, 2011 12:25 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 02, 2011 11:45 am
Posts: 1
Location: Pergatory
Profession: Assassin
2 minute elevator speech:

Jesus let me go to Hell to get in on the Osama Bukake party.
(that fucking line wrapped around the eighth circle of hell ... twice, but Hitler offered me cutsies ...as he heard I was no friend of the Jew either)

After a few loads, I was summoned to Turks and Caicos - apparently the J man closed the beach down, as he was shipping all the sand to Rush Limbaughs' vagina, and tossing a little bit of penile cancer Beck and Hannittys way.

It was then he spoke of Rift, and notified me I was needed...again. I said "Come on J, I'm dead. Retired. Don't be a fucking buzz-kill. Lets just smog a blunt, down a few bottles of Grey Goose, bang some hookers, and go grief Al Quaida."

He said "Sorry bro. The old man is busting my balls. Time to come out of retirement, hop on that bike you fell off years ago and ride again...or ill make you ride it without a seat."

... love the man, but hes a fucking slave-driver.


2 second elevator speech:

Jesus sent me.


Someone hook a brother up with Rift board access?


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